Who is my Community?

Love Thy Neighbor

Jesus said: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” [Matt 22:37-40]

Who is My Neighbor?

From his audience promptly came this follow up question. In Luke 10 [NIV], “an expert in the law… wanting to justify himself, asked Jesus. ‘And who is my neighbor?’ ” [Luke 10:29].

How human it is, when told to love our neighbor, that we immediately want to define precisely to whom we owe a duty of care. Is my neighbor (whom I am to love as myself) those on my block, those to whom I am related by blood, those who live in the same city/state/country, etc.? We are eager to draw boundaries around our “duty” to love (we certainly wouldn’t want to love more folks than we have to!)!

In response to this question Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. Two holy men -- a priest (one who performs religious sacraments) and a Levite (one who is caretaker of the Tabernacle) -- both walk by an injured man lying by the roadside and neither stops to help. The third traveler, a Samaritan (considered a “half-breed” and despised by the Jews) stops, applies a disinfectant (wine) and salve (oil), and bandages the injured man’s wounds. The Samaritan then carries the wounded man on his donkey to an inn where he stays overnight. The next day the Samaritan gives money to the innkeeper, saying “Look after him and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.” [Luke 10:30-35].

How Can I Be a Neighbor?

After telling the story, Jesus replies to the original question “Who is my neighbor?” by asking a question in return, one that may seem to be a non sequitur: “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The audience replies ‘The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus then says ‘Go and do likewise.’ ” [Luke 10:36-37].

Jesus turns our human way of thinking on its head, and enlightens us that our neighbor is not someone “out there” (beyond ourselves) that we bond with and care for because we have a commonality or shared interest. If that were so, then a neighbor would simply be an extension of self, the natural tribal instinct of banding together for self-preservation and protection. As Jesus points out elsewhere, even tax collectors love those who love them. [Matt 5:46]

Instead, Jesus explains that someone becomes our neighbor – not because of their characteristics – but rather because of our attitude and decision to care for them. There is no such thing as someone who is inherently not a neighbor (and therefore someone whom we have no duty to love). Thus, the real question is not “Who is my neighbor?” but rather “What does it mean for me to be a neighbor?”

What is Community?

Applying the above insight about one on one relationships to the concept of community, community would seem to be based not on the attributes of those in the group, but rather on the attitude of those in the group toward each other. To an outsider, a group of people might seem to have a great deal in common, but if the individuals in the group do not care about each other (or see themselves as a part of the larger whole), perhaps the group is not a community.

Because community is not discovered but developed, the question is less “Is this my community?” but rather “What does it mean for me to be in community with these people?”

Some groups articulate expectations, and standards must be met to be accepted by the group. These standards are also used as markers by outsiders to identify who is a member of that group. These standards might be considered the legal prescription for belonging.

However, Jesus took a relationship-oriented approach toward belonging: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” [John 13:35 ESV] In short, community is an action verb (relate/love) not a noun (a group).

How are Communities Created?

One situation that often gives birth to an experience of community arises is when people experience a common threat, such oppression or a life-threatening catastrophe. An outside danger/pressure forces a group to emphasize their commonalities and minimize differences as they realize their survival/success is dependent on their working/pulling together (solidarity). Solidarity in the absence of oppression/danger is more unusual. “White” people often claim not to be aware of their own ethnicity ~ a luxury referred to as privilege. (Perhaps I struggle in seeking to develop a clear sense of belonging to a particular community because I have not been discriminated against as a member of a marginalized group.)

Community also arises as a result of intentional commitments made to a particular group. Just as what creates marriage is a commitment made to the Beloved (not because the Beloved is objectively more beautiful or worthy than others, but because the Lover desires to bind/bond with the Beloved), so the relationship of community is created/deepened when an individual commits themselves to a particular group.

Such commitments recognize that as humans we have limited energy/time, and our commitment is a promise we will prioritize the aspirations/needs of our spouse/community over those of the wider world. To the extent we behave differently toward those to whom we are committed, we are drawing arbitrary (self-created) lines in order to lessen our burden by excluding some from the circle we regard as our community.

We are All in Community Together

Ever mindful of how far we fall short of living up to our intentions and commitments, we tend to shrink the size of those to whom we consider ourselves committed. Yet Spirit gently (and sometimes not so gently) reminds us that -- while we are doomed to fail in any attempt to live up to the letter of the law (our commitments) -- we discover love and grace, like gravity, hold us together in community. Spirit continuously works to expand our awareness that we are part of an ever greater Whole that includes Everyone and Everything.